Broken Record by Edie Bryant

Author:Edie Bryant [Bryant, Edie]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2017-02-25T00:00:00+00:00

10

Heather

I’d have been lying if I said I wasn’t hurt to never hear from Lindsay.

Even though I knew it was coming, even though I knew she was going to feel differently when the alcohol wore off. I had messed around with enough straight girls to know how things were going to end up.

But for some stupid reason, I let myself be hopeful when I pulled away that night. That kiss was deeper than anything I ever felt, and she couldn’t deny it. That was what I told myself.

But apparently, she could. Or maybe the kiss just didn’t feel as good to her as it did to me.

All I knew was that I expected a call that never came. I woke up early that next morning because once I awoke, I couldn’t go back to sleep. Not when I thought that Lindsay could be calling at any moment.

Even into the late afternoon, I was still eagerly waiting. I knew she was drunk and could have been sleeping in.

But by evening, my hope deflated. And I was positively heartbroken.

It was my own damn fault, though. I knew I shouldn’t have kissed her. I knew it was only going to make my feelings stronger and it fucking did.

It wasn’t the first time I experienced heartbreak, though. I’d move on, eventually. If I could just stop thinking of her.

That was part of the problem, though. I couldn’t fucking stop thinking about her. Especially not when her name was on my damn schedule for the week. I had a list of all the producers meetings with artists.

The day I knew she was coming in was absolute hell. Knowing she was in the same building as me, but I couldn’t go speak to her.

Even worse, the entire time I was wondering if she’d pop up into my office. She hadn’t called but maybe knowing I was here, she wouldn’t be able to resist coming to see me. Or at least saying something. Maybe she wouldn’t just announce her love for me, but she’d at least apologize for the other night.

She didn’t, though. I wanted to be furious at her. It was pretty fucked up. Making a move on me like that just to pull back.

She was just a kid, though. Could I really say I would have done things differently if I was in her position and confused about my sexuality?

I did what I always did when I wanted to avoid things: I tossed myself into my work. And it didn’t take away thoughts of her completely, but it helped.

It was hardest on the day when I went to visit my Grandma Mary. All she wanted to know was about Lindsay, how the record deal was going, how I felt about her, if there had been a spark between us.

I was a little harsh with her. I felt guilty about it, but every question just drove the pain down deeper.

“Grandma, you have to let it go. There is never going to be anything between us. No matter how badly you want it.

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